I'll Never Write a Novel

The Memoir of a Personal Essayist OR Confessions of a Theatre Widow

Thursday, October 11, 2007

What to Wear?

When I was pregnant I reveled in the ability to enjoy privileges generally reserved for toddlers and the elderly. I am speaking most specifically about (1) naps and (2) ELASTIC WAIST PANTS. I had to capitalize the last part because I was genuinely that elated about it. I didn't have to rock a button, zipper or snap for months (no Amish jokes here). The naps were just icing on the proverbial gestational cake. I often said that I thought I might never go back to standard dressing as I loved the simplicity so much. Postpartum moms assured me that I would change my tune. They were right.

I guess maybe I just got sick of pulling up my pants every second of every day. I thought that elastic was supposed to help your pants stay UP. Alas, not so much. As I have mercifully lost some weight I bought new pants that fit for a week, then began the steady downward drop. I literally end up with the waistband under my bum after walking down the stairs to my front walk. It's comical when it's not sad.

For now, I have some embarrassing pants, and one pair of jeans that, for the moment, stay up. My size is a mystery to me. Seriously. I actually took a dress to the dry cleaners last week and prayed it would fit when I picked it up. As if somehow the dry cleaners had magical powers. But, what's crazier is, it DID! I have no idea if it would fit today, but it only needed to fit on Saturday. And, no elastic waist on my Vera Wang cocktail dress, to be clear.

Now I need to figure out what to wear today...


Blogger tacomachickadee said...

Oh, I could write a novel on THAT subject! :)

5:48 PM  

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